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| Settle For More: You Can Have The Relationship You Always Wantedaguaranteed! | 
| Authors: Tom Merrill, Bobbie Sandoz-merrill, Bobbie Sandoz Merrill
Publisher: Select Books (NY)
Category: Book
List Price: $21.95
Buy New: $4.18
You Save: $17.77 (81%)
New (10) from $4.18
Avg. Customer Rating:  10 reviews
Sales Rank: 645254
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 245
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1
ISBN: 1590790693
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.872
EAN: 9781590790694
ASIN: 1590790693
Publication Date: September 2005
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: No writing. No underling. No highlighting. Has DJ. Great condition. Very fast shipping.***
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| Customer Reviews:
| Showing reviews 1-5 of 10 | | NEXT » |
 Could get to the point quicker August 1, 2006
0 out of 3 found this review helpful
This book is more for a therapist than an average reader. I kept wanting to know this model they kept referring to but they didn't finally tell you it until the 6th chapter. I think they could have did this much sooner. I read this book with two other people and we all were frustrated by it. We like to read but this book was not good at holding our attention.
 Makes you think before you leap! May 20, 2006
3 out of 5 found this review helpful
I was surprised to see Robert's review on this book. Robert is my ex. This book made me realize that I did not have to settle for the type of marriage and stormy relationship as Robert and I shared. I could have a relationship that centered on both me and my partner...a team & "best friends" relationship....to avoid relationships that place you as a domestic slave to your partner's selfish needs. No, this book does not deliver a partner to you...but it makes you understand how to strive for quality and compatibility. Perhaps that is why Robert and I are divorced?
 Raise the Bar & Learn the Art of Lifelong Courtship April 12, 2006
5 out of 7 found this review helpful
SETTLE FOR MORE helps people in romantic relationships understand how to stay positive and loving long after the initial flames of passion have given way to dwindling embers of love.
Noting that the divorce rates for first time marriages is above 50%, is about 60% for second marriages and 78% for third marriages, it's clear that a lot of people end up in unhappy marriages. Authors Tom Merrill and Bobbie Sandoz-Merrill assert that we don't need to end up feeling resentful of our mates, but can instead discover that who we've come to believe as "who I am" (the behaviors we fall back into when no longer trying to impress others) can be changed. By taking the first steps to be our best, in honor of the ideal relationship we wish to create, we can inspire our mates to commit to raising their standards of behavior as well. Since this requires some fairly big changes in behavior, the authors include guidance for every step of the way.
When we channel our every thought, word, and deed through the intention to honor our beloved, we find that we honor our beloved every day, and not just in the initial days of courtship. The key to getting from a starting point of dissatisfaction (ignored, devalued, blamed and undermined) to joyous, expansive love is one of starting from the end... of holding a vision of what it is that you wish to create, and really feeling yourself being in that relationship you envision... visualizing the relationship (not focusing on the person). We can fine-tune our communications, to show our partner that they still enchant and attract us, and that we still care so very much for them.
I'm very positively impressed at the advice, candor, and clarity of SETTLE FOR MORE, and give this book my highest recommendation for everyone who is in or is considering being in a committed romantic relationship.
Practical and warm April 10, 2006
5 out of 6 found this review helpful
This book takes us through the practical steps of raising the bar on relationships. It challenges us to not throw "sticks" at one another, to avoid getting stuck in the rut of unhealthy patterns of relationships that we may have settled for in our families of origin. Instead we are to envision the "apples" we want in our love relationships, the values which are essential to us.
Especially helpful are that the Merrills show us how they went through these steps in their own relationship with some cute memories of their lives together.
The truly golden analogy (p. 87-89) chronicles the order in which we usually do relationships. Think of a child learning ballet. Usually we buy the things she needs, then send her to lessons, and then decide whether or not she wants to be a ballerina. In relationships, we do the same. We acquire, do them for a while, and then decide whether or not they are what we want. The Merrill's recommend exactly the opposite. First we have to decide what kind of relationships we want, then do them, them acquire the necessary accoutrements.
The book is practical and upbeat.
Keeping it Simple February 20, 2006
5 out of 6 found this review helpful
I loved this book. We often step over our own "Philosophers Stone" because we want to make things complicated. In "Settle for More" the authors show us the philosophers stone that many (most?) of us step over when it comes to having a good relationship. They remind us, using practical examples and steps, how to respect and nurture our primary relationship. This little book is not only very readable, it is very "doable." I recommend it not only to my clients who are in relationship, but to my clients who want to be in relationship and wonder why the old ones failed.
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